“Why I Did It”

I know why I’m here, Doctor Freeman. I seen the movies. I know they want you to git me to talkin’ bout my life and git inside my head. See if there’s some great big dirty dark secret in my childhood to explain why I done what I done. They want you to report back and tell ‘em if you think I’m a nut-job or not. Am I right? Course I am.

Well, lemme save you the trouble, Doc. Cos ain’t nothin wrong with me. It’s y’all that’s got a problem. Not me. I mean, everybody’s treatin’ me like I’m some kinda twisted serial killer. Like one a those freaks who gits their kicks from lurkin’ in dark alleys and murderin’ strangers. But, I ain’t nothin’ like that and I object to bein’ called a murderer.

What I done is freed all them ole folks. I freed ‘em from their sad lives. Took away all their pain and all their fear. I gave ‘em peace. When those know-it-all doctors give up on ‘em and say there ain’t no hope for a better quality a life, I help ‘em.

Thing is, most of ‘em don’t know they wanna be free. Or they scared a bein’ free. And when I’m tryna free ‘em, they do git to fussin’ and a strugglin’. Sometimes, they try to hit me or cry out for help… But, one thing I know is that sometimes, the ones who be needin’ help the most are the ones who think they don’t. You know what I mean, Doc? Sure you do. You must git that all the time in here. So, you might understand when I tell you these old’uns might not know they want my help. But, they do. And I got a special ability to know which ones need freein’ and when the right time is to free ‘em. And then when that time comes, I have no problem steppin’ up and doin’ what needs to be done.

I spose I got my granny to thank for that. I mean, some folks might say Granny was hard. And truth be told, I hated Granny when I was a child. There weren’t no lovin’ or huggin’ with her. And boy, was my granny strict! She’d tear your behind for any little thing. But, she made me tough. When I would cry, she would slap me hard, right across the face and say, “Martha… don’t you be like your spineless momma!” It might sound harsh, but it worked. And when that Alzheimer’s started eatin’ up Granny’s brain and turnin’ her into a ramblin’ mess, I knew she would never wanna carry on livin’ like that. So, I did what I had to do and I freed my granny from that pathetic life.

It was easy enough. You see, Granny used to use what she called her sleepin’ potion to put down the cats and dogs we had over the years. So, I just put some a that there sleepin’ potion on a kerchief, walked right up to the bed and covered her nose with it. And that was it. That was the first time I ever done it. The first time I ever freed anybody. But I wasn’t scared or nervous. I didn’t feel happy or sad about it. I just… I had a duty to do for my Granny and I done it.

After that, I knew I had to use my special gift to free other ole folks. See, the government don’t care nothin’ bout ‘em. Leavin’ ‘em to rot in these so-called ole people homes and hospitals. Actin’ like they blind to their sufferin’. But, they don’t wanna waste their money takin’ care a ole folks. Or findin’ cures for ole folk diseases. No. They rather use it to build bombs or go to space or some crap like that.

Anyhow, I know everybody’s wantin’ y’all to lock me up and throw away the key. But, how can folks just sit there and watch their loved ones sufferin’ and not do nothin’ ‘bout it? You know why? Cos none a y’all have the guts to put ‘em outta their misery, that why. I shouldn’t be punished for what I done. You should be pattin’ me on the back and thankin’ me.

But, I knew y’all wouldn’t understand. I even saw some woman on the news callin’ me evil. I ain’t evil. Leavin’ ole folks to suffer… Now, that’s evil.

An original monologue by Donna Anderson

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